So...the last time I posted, I was wrecked by a bunch of precious children in Haiti. God was moving my heart and I was convinced we would be adopting from that precious, beautiful, wrecked place! Well...not so much! As I sit here, you all know, that is not quite what The Lord had planned. Yes, in His wisdom, he saw fit (as I was preparing my heart and home and life for a dark brown beauty from across the globe) to bring me something so different..a white skinned angel from down the road! So...here I sit, having taken a VERY long break from The Blog-o-sphere with 3 babes, one from my womb and 2 through adoption...all of my heart! And WHOA the road it has been! So, I am writing to say, I am BAAACCCKKK! Let the blogging and rambling begin. Mainly because I SO loved my blog book from the first round...I figure my two younger babies deserve the same. :-) Oh, that and The Lord has walked me through some of the most challenging 2 years of my life. SIGH...I have so much to write about...pictures and stories will begin to unfold. I am sorry for those who know the stories. I am writing to chronicle and journal all I have skipped and missed! It will take time. Several posts...but I will do it. So, stick with me...or dont. I understand...this is for me and my babes...and those who care to follow! Peace and JOY to you and yours! Glad to be back
Okay, I am not done quite yet! What finally brought me back to the world of blogging was something that has been nagging on my brain. So here it goes. With NO sugar coating, BUT with all the grace and understanding I can muster! Here is the deal...I am gonna cut right to the chase. I know most people who I converse with have good intentions. I know that people are curious because how God has built my family, to some, may be intriguing and interesting. I LOVE to share what God has done...and will do so any time you are curious! About any and ALL of it. Brian and I are open books about our journey! We think its awesome and we love to share it.
That being said, My oldest son is 5 now. He is comprehending more and more in life and its beautiful to watch. He is sensitive and smart and funny and all those things that are precious to me and all parents. ONE of the things that makes his story unique is that he is adopted. A precious girl, whom we adore, chose to give him life. God allowed her to choose the place and family he would be raised in and be a part of! We are the lucky ones...and we know it! He made us parents. He is our first born. He is our oldest. He is precious in all ways! We are WIDE open with him about HIS story. As we are with Anna Faith and Knox as well. He knows he "grew in Jasmine's tummy." We have NOTHING to hide or disguise because his is a story of Gods goodness and faithfulness in the face of trials. His is a story of redemption and hope. His story reminds me of my salvation more than anything else. So, it is awesome and beautiful and we LOVE our "Open Adoption". Here is what I would like our community to know and understand. WE (Brian and I) are his "REAL PARENTS". Anna Faith and Knox are his "REAL SIBLINGS". Both my boys have biological siblings, yes. We love those children and pray those children will, at some point, have a special spots in my boys hearts. However, Matthew has 1 sister and 1 brother...God did that! He placed Matthew in a family...in THIS family! Same goes for Knox. Why am I rambling about this? Because, I have been asked some VERY sensitive questions in front of my 5 year old lately A LOT! I mean a WHOLE LOT! What are these questions, and how have they been asked? Like this:
"Does he ever get to see his real Mom?"
"Does he ever get to see his grandmother?" (referring to a biological grandparent)
"Does he have any REAL brothers and sisters?"
"How is his Mom?" (referring to his precious biological mom)
"Is that Knox's brother?" (referring to his biological brother)
Here is the thing...I have ALWAYS been asked these questions. And, assuming the best because I totally know what the person means, I simply answer the question. BUT, now, something has shifted in my heart. If I am honest, I use to think adoptive parents overreacted about the whole "using correct verbage" in adoption deal. I was often thinking, "come on...you know what they mean. We dont need to be sensitive or defensive people!" Well, that has changed because my precious 5 year old is old enough to look at me and say, "Why did they say that?" "What is a real Mom?" Or, the other day, when someone asked about Knox's "real" brother in front of Anna Faith, caused her to shout, "NO. I am Knoxy sister". I dont think she really understood what the conversation was about...or how fitting her words were :-). But the point is, maybe she did...or she will soon! So, with that heart, Its time for me to very simply stand and ask, on behalf of all 3 of my precious children...please be aware of your words when talking to ANY adoptive family. Birth parents can be referred to as birth or biological parents. Same with other biologically related siblings. I know that God made my family in a super cool way that has blessed my socks off, and I love my children and want to protect their hearts! Please know that we are their REAL parents! We are their REAL family! In EVERY WAY...by the GRACE of a very cool God!
From the bottom of my heart, I was NOT thinking of any single person when I write this. I cannot recall who has said this to me last or whatever...I just know, tonight, I hit a wall and needed to share! So, feel free to ask...a lot, and often! I love sharing our story in the hopes that it may glorify God in some cool way! Just please mind your words and pay attention to how you say things...ESPECIALLY in front of my precious children!
Thanks...glad to be back! What a way to re-enter...with a total rant! Forgive me! Thats something you may see..God has delivered me from being a people pleaser! YAY! So, sorry if you are not pleased...He is! :-)
Peace!
