At the same time, I have been "thoughtful" lately. I have been thinking SO much about the beauty and mystery of adoption. Wondering what Jesus wants me do with all the things he has taught and showed me. I've been asked a lot lately about the adoption and where we are. When my response is "we are really at the same place", my sweet friends hearts sink a little and I see it in their faces. It makes me feel loved. Reminds me how Brian and I have not been alone on our journey. Thats awesome! That sounds like a trivial response to all of you who have walked through the last 5 or so years with us, but I don't really know that I have words other than...just awesome! Really awesome.
I wonder a lot lately about racial issues. Why do we have the views of other races that we do?
I wonder a lot lately about the poor. They matter so much to Jesus. I want to be with them and learn from them. From their purity and their hearts. I want to give what I have been given. But, do I do it from the right posture? My heart is pure, I think, in my desire to be with them.
I wonder a lot about spiritual gifts and things of the Spirit. I have SO MUCH to learn. I wonder so much about this.
I wonder about my wounds. Why I take offense when I do. Why I hold on too tight to people I love. Why I still feel "I am on the outside looking in" in so much of life. I want to be less prideful, more humble. I dont want to be opposed by God. Which is what the Word says about "the proud"
Wondering about healing. About asking for it, praying for it, looking for, trusting in it. Why doesn't it happen every time?
I found this quote and it spoke to me...
Ecclesiastes 7:4 states, “Sadness is better than laughter, for sorrow has great influence over us.”
I believe that part of the message within this passage is that the tears we cry in the midst of our pain, God uses—much like water softens hardened ground—to tenderize our hearts so we may have a greater understanding of suffering and have compassion on a suffering world, a world that doesn’t know our Heavenly FATHER, the one who adopted us.
So, I have been pondering a lot. This little man has taught me about joy and gifts.
When I took this picture, I looked at it and thought...this is how My Father sees me. My Heavenly Father. What if I approached him like this every moment of every day. What if I trusted that looking to him and raising my hands and life to him like this really made a difference?!?
I fear I write down more personal things than anyone really wants to hear...however, here it is. The Garrison family...
