The Vonage Lady!

So, to the Vonage lady...

I sat on the phone with you today for an hour. That's right, an hour. Your prices are good, your service is reliable, so sure, I will sign up for your "Unlimited Calls, Amazing deal for only $24.99 a month". I've done my research and I know how much I will be saving. You dont have tell me every 2 minutes! But you did, and that's okay I guess. The call center where you answered my call was SO loud. All the other hyper Vonage representatives were speaking very loudly, and quickly - just like you! It was amazing really - you were screaming at me and you didnt even realize it. It made me anxious and my heart literally was beating faster because of you. Maybe yall should have some sound barriers at your call centers or something. But please, stop yelling - all of you! And the disclaimer that took you 25 minutes to read, oh my goodness, that memo you read that told me again, at least 30 times, what a great deal I was getting - PLEASE - stop! I get it. Enough! Could you just put it on line and ask me to read it later!? Please! And the memo about 911! Are you serious? I know its important. I know that I dial 911 if I am in an emergency. I know that I should not call the Vonage Customer Service if I need help in an emergency. But, in your sweet and strong Indian accent, I listened to you read me a 10 minute (not kidding) essay on how to use 911 Emergency Services and why its really important that I live in a place that has access to it. Sigh...actually I just put you on speaker phone and didnt listen to half of what you said. But, I did hear you say, twice, "Just a moment, let me catch my breath". Thats a sign you are making your people talk too much Vonage! They cannot breathe and say all that you require them to say. I almost hung up - twice! Really, I almost did. Sigh again. I am going to rest my brain...but gosh darn it, I am saving almost $12.00 a month by using you Vonage. So thanks and I forgive you for taking up an hour of my life...a little over an hour actually! And to the Vonage Lady, I have never heard someone talk so quickly or so much. You thanked me at least 10 times for being nice. That probably means people are mean to you a lot. For that, I am sorry, because you were nice. But, the things they make you say and the environment of loud screaming and phones ringing...its awful. So to you, sweet Indian Vonage lady...to you, I say, I am sorry!